How to treat with Dutch 2

So... it's holiday but i'm bored to death and that's why i'm writing a new blog that soon after the last one..
The only things i can do have to do with school and are not the good options hahaha
Here's the following of the "How to treat with Dutch"-course. Good luck!!! ;)

11) Dutch do not like to spend money, they prefer to cut off an ear. This makes a Dutch your friend for life if you give him something for free. And it might explain the great success of McDonald's in Holland. The story that copper-wire was invented by two Dutch who were fighting for a cent, is totally true.

12) Holland is small. The story goes that it's that small that they put it inside when it's raining. This is not true, but more because it rains 365 days a year in Holland. And that explains the wooden-shoes: they are floating. Yesyes, Holland is small and Dutch are very proud of that. They will take every chance to tell you that Holland has reached for such great things although it's so small. A good answer for this is referring to a history filled with cruelty in colonies. That brings us to point 13.

13) If you want to insult a Dutch, and sooner or later you'll want that, you can tell him that you don't think he's a pacifist. And now start immediately running for your life. He won't stop telling you he's the most peaceful person in the world until your guts are on the street. As said before, referring to a history filled with cruelty in colonies like in Surinam and Indonesia will make that same Dutch change into a crying child that begs for forgiving.

14) Dutch have the name of being tolerant. Rubbish. They just make too much money with selling soft- and harddrugs and Maleisian women, for letting that great opportunity for making profit pass by.

15) The main way of transport in Holland is the bike. Feel free to take every bike of which you can crack the lock. However, don't expect your bike to be at the same place as you put it 3 minutes ago. The hunting-season of bikes is opened 365 days a year. Good luck!

16) With every meal with bread in Holland you will find a mean-looking knife with a big groove in it. This is called a "kaasschaaf" (cheeseslicer) and is meant to cut off very thin slices of the cheese (Yes, it is a Dutch invention). Never cut the cheese with a normal knife, the Dutch will think you are very foolish. Another Dutch invention for eating is the "flessenlikker" (bottle scraper). Be aware! Never use it for scratching your back! It was made for getting the last small traces out of a bottle of sauce or something else. A Dutch uses every millimeter of a product he bought. He payed for it, then he will eat it too.

17) Dutch are used to drown chips in liters of mayonnaise and putting it in paperbags. This is called "patatje met" (chips with). One of these bags is able to give you an immortal life (because it's so fat!). They are only not sure if this life is worth living it. Anyway, there are really seen foreigners that seemed to like it.

18) Holland has a unique service for tourists. At the moment they are crossing the border they are welcomed by young men in fast cars. They have the wish to bring the tourists to the many interesting attractions Holland has. One way or another, the tourists always end up in a coffeshop or other drugsbuilding (see point 19)

19) There is a very fast way of making yourself foolish in Holland. Walk into a coffeeshop and ask for a cappuccino with a cookie. Coffeeshops, remember this, do not sell coffee. But you can find there lots of drugs for low prices. Because of an unknown reason, coffeeshops are very popular between the tourists.

20) A Frisian is a kind of Dutch living in the north of the country with a whole province for himself. He loves frozen water, Beerenburg (a kind of euthanasia with alcohol) and continiously telling that the other Dutch are just not-Frisians. The other Dutch are seeing this attitude with the eyes like parents to a rebellious child.

Next time until 30!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx from a very bored Marloes